“This world just isn’t Fair.”
“Everything He does is just and fair. He is a faithful God who does no wrong; how just and upright he is!” (Deut.32:4, NLT)
August 4, 2020 seemed like the perfect Tuesday. It was day four (4) of our two week Covid19 ‘quarantine’ in the beautiful village of Brora in Scotland.
That means no golf or contact with people. But the dreaded Q word cannot stop a morning walk on the beach or a stroll with a walking stick (five iron) on the deserted evening links. The sound of the waves crashing. The sound of the birds nesting. Paradise in August.
Brora Golf Club is unique partly because the cattle and sheep farmers (known as ‘crofters’ in Scotland) have the legal right to graze over one hundred sheep and dozens of cows on the golf course. The rough is never mowed thanks to these barnyard friends. This year they have even added the wonderful “Highland Cows” to the mix. Naturally, these animals are a greenskeepers’ worst nightmare, leaving unwanted overnight gifts. Indeed, the scorecard at Brora has a local rule. “The player is entitled to a free drop from fresh excrement.” This of course begs the question, what is ‘fresh’?
Regardless, as we went to bed on Tuesday August 4, we thanked the Lord for such a perfectly fine day. We awoke at 6am the next morning to an unusually glorious view. The flags were limp. The North Sea was calm. The birds were chirping. The sun was shining brightly. Another day in Paradise. Like my childhood friends, I could almost hear the cows mooing, “Can Timmy come out and play?” I made a cup of coffee and planned to enjoy the morning with a good book in one of heaven’s best gateways.
But first I checked my WhatsApp and emails. A message from Jeff Hopper in California, “Sorry to hear that Cullan passed.” In the snap of a finger, Paradise was gone.
I knew this was possible, but I was not ready to hear the news. Cullan Brown, age 20, had died. Osteosarcoma, a rare bone cancer diagnosed just 12 months ago, had taken the life of my young friend. He was a star on the Kentucky golf team. All SEC Freshman last year. Made the cut last summer in a PGA Tour event. Superstar future. Shot a 29 on the back nine the first time I ever watched him play. Not to mention a gourmet chef, expert outdoorsman, and 4.0 student.
And now he was gone.
The first news article I could find quoted another great young Kentucky player, trying to play PGA golf, Chip McDaniel. He had tweeted, “This world just isn’t fair”. Amen Chip.
Hundreds, even thousands of people, had prayed for Cullan. We had friends in Alabama who seriously were praying for him. Jack Nicklaus and Bernhard Langer sent messages of encouragement and healing to Cullan.
But despite the fact that so many people cared, he died. And Chip seems right, “This world just isn’t fair.” Especially when the one who is gone loved Jesus and seemed poised for at least fifty years of faithful service to the King of Kings.
This sent me to the dictionary and the Bible, looking for the word “Fair”. The dictionary was not much help. “Free from bias, dishonesty, or injustice (Ex: ‘a fair decision’ or ‘a fair judge’)”.
But then I noticed an astounding fact. As we understand the word ‘fair’, it barely even existed until recent times. In the King James Version of the Bible (1662), it only meant the lovely color of your skin, or the beauty of a young lady. Or maybe the weather.
The NASB (1902) and the RSV (1952) barely mention “fair” at all, as we understand it.
Only more modern Bible versions are more likely to use ‘fair’, like “Everything He does is just and fair.” (Dt. 32:4 NLT). Or, “If God were not entirely fair, how would he be qualified to judge the world? (Romans 3:6 NLT). Or, “God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he makes sinners right in his sight when they believe in Jesus.” (Romans 3:26 NLT).
The word used in older translations for God is that He is Just. And He is Righteous. That is quite different than Fair.
The world is indeed not fair. But we must remember that God is Just and Righteous. Or as I like to say, He is Awesome! Our minds cannot know His ways. He is God and we are not.
God Himself, the great Judge, knew His purpose for Cullan Brown. Turns out it was not the PGA Tour. It was to be a brief and blazing light, pointing people to the life, death and resurrection of Jesus. I learned this soon after he arrived on campus.
Just a few weeks into his first semester of college, Cullan had called me. “Judge, I need to interview someone for a leadership class. Could we meet for an hour?” I said sure, expecting a stumbling, mumbling college freshman who could really golf his ball but not much else. Boy was I wrong. He put me through the ringer, asking better questions than I had answers. I was ready to nominate him for Governor right on the spot. He told me he had chosen to interview me because we were both Jesus followers. He wanted to be sure that I knew where he stood with the Lord. It was a memorable hour with an 18 year old golfer with the mind of an 80 year old guru. I later told Coach Brian Craig something like, “God has plans for Cullan that are way bigger than the game of golf.”
And sure enough, Cullan is now a small seed planted in the hearts of thousands of people. This God who is Just and Righteous had a plan for Cullan after all. Jesus told a story that makes me think about Cullan.
“The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in his field; it is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.” (Matthew 13:31 NRSV).
He was from Eddyville, Kentucky, population almost nothing, in Western Kentucky. He was the only state champion in high school in any sport ever from Lyon County. And now, this smallest of seeds, planted in the fields of Kentucky will become a huge tree for thousands. It will start with his loving parents and little sister. It will include his teammates who will never forget Cullan’s story. After our one hour interview, he wrote a paper on what he supposedly learned from me. At the end, he said,
“Judge has a very clear view of what he wants to leave behind, which is the love and story of Jesus Christ, and has a very clear plan of action as to how he wants to get there.”
His paper got it right, but now Cullan has beaten me to it. He has left behind “the love and story of Jesus Christ” in our hearts, and we will never forget. His mustard seed will become a giant tree. God’s plan was different than the one he envisioned.
Many people thought that Cullan Brown would have a Hall of Fame career. He had me convinced when he shot ten under par in a PGA event just three weeks before his diagnosis.
But instead, it turns out he has joined the Hall of Faith, found in Hebrews the 11th chapter. Abel was a ‘righteous man’. Enoch ‘pleased God’. Noah built the ark to ‘save his family’. Abraham walked ‘by faith’ into the unknown, followed by all his descendants like Isaac, Jacob, Joseph and more. Moses was chosen to lead God’s people.
And now, Cullan has joined this same Hall of Faith.
He no longer needs to go to college or interview mortals like me to learn about leadership. He can interview the entire Hall of Faith, or maybe they should interview him! Not to mention Jesus Himself.
Cullan is not concerned that this world just isn’t fair. That’s because he knows that God is Awesome and that he was fortunate to have a family that showed him the way.
I imagine a scene. On August 4, 2020, Jesus embraced Cullan and said, “I love you so much.” Cullan would have nodded approval and smiled as Jesus continued, “Your journey on earth was short but my purpose was for you to lay down your life to save others. I know you’re okay with that.” Cullan smiled again and nodded, “Of course, of course.”
I can actually hear Cullan then speaking these words in his unique Kentucky twang, “Jesus, thank you so much. Now though, please just make sure everybody who knows my story knows that You love them and You have a wonderful plan for them. They just need to keep their eyes focused on you.” Now Jesus smiled. “Of course. They won’t forget you, Cullan, and together, we will let them know the love and story of God’s Love through Jesus Christ.”
Perhaps this conversation even happened walking down the fairway on a course so great that we could not even imagine. Jesus is too smart to play golf so he would be Cullan’s caddie. Jesus loves to caddie for his children.
So we weep. But our tears are more for ourselves who cannot understand. And for Cullan’s family that loved him so dearly. His mother. His father. His younger sister. His extended family that showed up for every tournament. To hear them talk, Cullan ‘just isn’t making any putts today’, even though he might be two or three under par. Oh how they loved to follow Cullan on the golf course. And eat his cooking. And hear his stories.
So, we close with Dt 32:4 in the RVS. “The Rock, his work is perfect; for all his ways are justice. A God of faithfulness and without iniquity, just and right he is.” (Deut. 32:4, RSV).
The world is not fair. But God is Just and Right and Awesome. RIP Cullan.
I wrote this as a eulogy shortly after his death. But…..the Story continued throughout the balance of 2020.
The ‘Rest of the story” includes three of Cullan’s teammates at UK.
First, Max Mehles, a Senior who was a mentor for Cullan. Max’s girlfriend is Sophia, an All American at Southern Cal who got her LPGA card quickly after her team won a national title. She thought she was on her way to fame and fortune after graduation.
But alas, professional golf is not easy. By 2019, she was off the tour, and back to Q school where she missed her card by one stroke. Quitting was now a real option. Finding a ‘real job’ was on the table. But she decided to go back and earn her way onto the tour through the Symetra Tour (the ladies’ version of minor leagues Korn-Ferry).
But then Corona Virus stopped both the LPGA and the Symetra Tour. Maybe this was a sign to quit. But instead, Sophia humbled herself and signed up to play the Cactus Tour, a mini-tour experience that was in theory way below her standard. She played often in April-June 2020, and when the LPGA rolled out again in July 2020, she agreed to CADDIE for her friend Anne Van Dam. She knew in her heart that she was good enough to play, but she humbled herself to caddie for her friend.
The next week, the LPGA tournament in Ohio had some openings created by travel issues for players from outside the USA. Those few spots were filled by Symetra tour players, including Sophia. So, on July 31, Sophia teed it up in her first LPGA event for several years. She had no caddie. Her boyfriend Max was in Germany with Visa issues. So she pulled her own trolley/push cart. This is frowned on in the LPGA world, but not forbidden. And sure enough, she shot 66. She then made the cut. She then found herself in the top ten after three days. And then she realized that a top 10 finish would qualify her for the British Open at Royal Troon in Scotland.
She finished T9. By one lonely stroke, she was in the British Open. She flew back to Arizona for a Symetra Tour event, needing to earn some money to hopefully qualify for the LPGA next year. She finished second, and so, with some money to afford the trip, she hopped a plane on Monday morning, arrived in Scotland on Tuesday, played a practice round on Wednesday, and then, in horrific weather, she found herself standing on the 18th tee on Sunday with a three shot lead in the Women’s Open!!!!
A GOOD QUESTION
“…since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses…let us run the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus…” (Hebrews 12:1-2 RSV)
Today’s devotion is full of questions, not answers.
Do friends or family who have died have any influence on this earth? Can people in heaven effect outcomes in this life? Is there indeed a ‘cloud of witnesses’ who surround us, sort of like angels, helping us in certain times?
I must say that I have never heard a satisfactory sermon on the subject. There are Biblical stories of people appearing from the other side. Moses and Elijah appeared on the Mount of Transfiguration. Samuel returned from the dead in a bizarre story found in 1st Samuel 28. But I am left mostly confused on the question.
In 1992, several good things happened to me after my father died. Curious about the connections between heaven and earth, I asked a respected theologian (who had preached his funeral) whether it was possible that my father had anything to do with my good fortune. I expected him to tell me I was silly to think such ridiculous thoughts. Instead, he shocked me with, “I’m not sure why you’d stop being useful just because you’re in heaven.”
Those words have resounded in me as I continue to remember University of Kentucky golfer Cullan Brown, who died way too soon on August 4. Many close friends have experienced extraordinary blessings since his death.
For example, Max Mehles was a senior/mentor for Cullan on the Kentucky golf team. On the day of Cullan’s death, Max’s girlfriend, Sophia Popov received a sponsor’s exemption to play an LPGA event in Ohio. Carrying her own bag with no caddie, ranked #304 in the world, and wearing a blue ribbon in memory of Cullan, she finished tied for 9th, which qualified her for the British Open. Perhaps you know the rest of the story. Wearing the blue ribbon for Cullan, Sophia Popov won the British Open at Royal Troon on August 23, with Max on the bag. Did Cullan help somehow? I presume not, but honestly, I don’t know.
Then, just two weeks ago, Cullan’s roommate, Alex Goff, carried his friend’s bag in the televised Blessings Collegiate in Arkansas. And sure enough, Alex won his first college tournament. He had never come close to winning a college event. He was ranked around #750 in the amateur golf rankings.
Announcers on TV kept saying things like, “Cullan is surely looking down on Alex from above.” Statements like that make me a little nervous, knowing that Golf Channel announcers are not very good theologians. But when it comes to this question, neither am I.
The story ends, for now, with one last question from another former UK teammate. Lukas Euler called me the day after Alex won, happy to report that he just shot a 64 to Monday qualify for his first Korn Ferry tour event. We discussed Cullan and Sophia and Alex. So now Lukas, in his direct German style, asked a question I may never forget, “Do you think it’s possible that Cullan asked God to give his unused talent to his friends?”
I had no good answer for him. I don’t know.
But I do know this. Death and Life are Real. These stories of “blessings” are true. Heaven is a real place with real people. And Cullan Brown is now one of the great cloud of witnesses. He is alive! Instead of the Hall of Fame, he has entered the Hall of Faith, found in Hebrews 11. Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph and Moses. And now Cullan!
In the fall of 2018, 18 year old freshman Cullan wrote a paper for a Leadership class. He was writing about a certain leader, but his words are chillingly now his own.
Cullan said, “He has a clear view of what he wants to leave behind, which is the love and story of Jesus Christ.” Wow! Cullan has left behind the love and story of Jesus Christ. And a lot of friends.