Ben Ferrell is the only person who sends me a simple thank you card every year. “Dear Tim, Thank you for leading me to Jesus. Your friend, Ben.”

The raw truth is that I did not lead him to Jesus. I invited my brother Danny and some of his friends, including Ben, to a small gathering of teen-agers to hear my two-week-old testimony in February 1970. I was eighteen and freshman in college. I knew next to nothing, but I had a Story to tell. When Ben and his pals left the meeting, mostly laughing at me for being such a fanatic, the Holy Spirit followed them into their car and got their attention. As Ben tells it, tears and repentance followed and whoever was driving had to pull over to pray. There were five boys in the car, all saved that night. Jesus did just fine without me!

Ben went to Tates Creek High School the next day with a big new smile on his face that has become his trademark. Smilin’ Ben!

**Ben Ferrell (left) and Danny Philpot (right).**

The Ferrells (three boys) and the Philpots (two boys) grew up in the 1960’s on Edgemoor Drive in Lexington, Kentucky. The Ferrells were quite popular thanks to a perfect backyard for football games and a level basketball court. Ben and Danny had a rock and roll band that was leading them nowhere. I can still hear the tune “Louie, Louie, oh baby, now I gotta go”, or something like that, ringing in my ears as my fingers type.

After the Jesus encounter of 1970 when they were sixteen, the rock and roll turned into a Christian group where Ben would do most of the singing and Danny would do most of the preaching. For an old story about the group, click on the Link. The Dimensions – Tates Creek’s Teen Rockers – Lexingtunes

Ben’s dad “Doc” was famous because he had been a star on Bear Bryant’s national championship Kentucky football team in 1950. The pressure was always on Ben and his two brothers to measure up. Older brother Paul was the quarterback on the football team. All the girls seemed to look at him differently. Younger brother Doug became a basketball star, battling with Jack “Goose” Givens and James Lee in epic Lexington high school games. Ben was stuck in the middle as the kid who just smiled and sang all the time. He was a miniature King David, strumming his guitar and singing, hoping to make it in Hollywood or Nashville someday.

**Ben Ferrell’s solo career gets started**

We knew Ben was still “on fire” for Jesus when he went off to Tulsa and Oral Roberts University- which in 1971 just meant you were a full-blown fanatic! He had big plans for his songs and his guitar to take him to the top of whatever ladder existed for Christian singers. And sure enough, Nashville and Hollywood became pit stops along the way. He was sadly about thirty years ahead of his time when “worship leaders” like Michael W Smith or Chris Timlin could thrive. Churches in the 70s and even 80s still had song leaders who led a choir and wore coats and ties.

So, Ben never quite made the big-time. He made several CDs and never quit writing and singing, but Ben stayed mostly behind the cameras as a successful media executive with BMCFerrell in Tulsa, helping other Christian ministries. And his wife Kelly and four kids all agree that he is still their favorite singer. My wife Sue agrees with that.

Now, at age 70, grandpa Ben still seems to smile all the time— which is why it was a surprise to learn that he has suffered through serious spells of depression his whole life.

Indeed, Ben has recently published a book— “Defeating Depression: You can be a Victor, not a Victim” —which he wrote for one simple reason. He wants to help others who, like him, suffer from this disease which can cripple anyone.

Ben opens his book with these words, “Depression—or any mental-health challenge—can be very isolating, but I want you to know, you are not alone. Many well-known, successful people and countless others have suffered from this malady. Winston Churchill, former prime minister of the United Kingdom, struggled with it. He called it, ‘the black dog’.”

Instead of telling Ben’s story, let him tell his own story- excerpts from Chapter Two of his book.

“I was born into a good family in the mountains of eastern Kentucky, where my dad coached high school football. We moved to Lexington when I was about five years old. My mom and dad were solid people, and I was the middle son of three boys. My mom told me I was the happiest baby—always smiling and engaging— and people were attracted to me because I was naturally happy and enthusiastic. A natural athlete, I liked playing all sports and participating in many outdoor activities.
As I look back, however, I can see where the early signs of depression began. I had no confidence. Although I was not bad-looking as a teenager, I never thought any girl would be interested in me. Although I was a good athlete and did well in pick-up games or casual competitions with my friends, when it came to organized sports, I had no confidence. I was down on myself and only barely made the football, baseball, and basketball teams.
For some reason, I also was prone to accidents and sickness. Throughout my kindergarten years as a toddler, I suffered from asthma. I remember not being able to breathe and the panic it brought on as I would be rushed to the hospital in the middle of an attack.
Then, between the ages of eight and eighteen, I had a major surgery every year. When I was eight, I had appendicitis and my appendix ruptured. At that time, we didn’t have the antibiotics we do today, so it was life-threatening. I had an appendectomy. Then, ten days later, while in critical condition, I had another surgery to remove the poison that had been released into my system. Miraculously, the poison had collected right where my original incision was, and it was easy for the doctor to remove it. I say it was miraculous because the poison could have collected in my brain, lungs, or heart, any of which would have been fatal. Then the surgeries continued—a tonsillectomy, three surgeries on an ear from chronic infections, repairs from sports injuries, etc.
Despite these challenges, I was president of my junior high school class, was a leader in my youth group, and had a rock-and-roll band that played music by the Beatles, Beach Boys, James Taylor, and others. Then, at age sixteen, during the Jesus Movement of the 1970s, I had a dramatic encounter with the Holy Spirit and became a leader in a group that led many young people to Christ.
Because I was a new Christian who had radically experienced the presence of God, I moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma, to attend Oral Roberts University, a leading Christian university. At that time, Oral Roberts was still alive and was president of the school. He taught a course every Thursday night called, The Holy Spirit and You. It was my favorite class, and Oral became my spiritual father. I loved going to chapel, attending classes, and playing intermural sports, among other things. I eventually became a regular chapel singer and was a favorite of President Roberts. I was unique in that I played both the guitar and the harmonica and sang “Jesus music.” So, life should have been great!
However, many nights I found myself in my dorm room with what I now know were episodes of depression. It was horrible, but no one talked about depression back then. I figured it was homesickness. I did find that one thing that brought relief was when I expressed my feelings by playing my guitar and singing in my dorm room. I also had a wonderful roommate, David Stearman, who taught me much about life, music, and songwriting.
One night, while suffering in despair, I wrote the song, “Lifeline,” which ended up being recorded in Nashville on my first album. The lyrics reveal how desperate I was during those depressive episodes.
Throw me the Lifeline Brother, Feels like I’m going under. Help me see just where I’m going. Tell me the sun is shinin’, Tell me no dark clouds are linin’ the sky, Help me feel the gentle breeze a-blowin’. For I have lost the vision deep within my soul And I need You just to help me make it. I am sick at heart and You can make me whole, And with Your strength my Friend, I know that I can make it.
Over the many years since college, I have experienced many episodes of depression. Unlike asthma, it was not something I “grew out of”, nor have I experienced miraculous healing or “deliverance” that cured me once and for all.
I have, however, learned how to overcome, and sometimes, by sheer grit and determination, I have not let depression dominate or destroy my life. On the contrary, as I have said, it has been God’s grace that has helped me defeat it so that I have lived a fulfilling and productive life.
With this book, I want to share with you the ways in which I have dealt with depression and how I have learned to “bark back” at the ole black dog when he shows up growling.”

So, are you hiding depressive thoughts with smiles that hide your pain? Do you need to bark back at the ole black dog?

If so, find a copy of Ben’s book (CLICK HERE to buy the book). Help might be on the way!

Follow this link www.bencares.com to hear Ben’s music and read more of his story.