This morning (May 8, 2026), I woke up to two emails that seemed to fit together. On the surface, the two would seem totally on two different ends of the universe. A Scottish preacher from the 19th century, and a college golfer in Kentucky.

First, “Streams in the Desert” came flooding into my heart once again at 5 am. Today’s devotional by Lettie Cowman (written 100 years ago) quoted extensively from the great Scottish preacher George Matheson (1842-1906). At age 20, George began to lose his eyesight. He was engaged to be married. When he broke the news to his fiancée that he was going blind, she broke off the engagement. Sure enough, he became totally blind, never married, and lived with a sorrow that seemed to enhance his work. He penned some awesome words along the way, including the famous hymn “O Love That Wilt Not Let Me Go.” He turned his sorrows into songs.

And then a second piece of social media woke me up to the news that Cathryn Brown, a junior on the Kentucky golf team, was named to the All-SEC Golf Team this week. I first met her when she was thirteen (13), just a little girl following her older UK golfer brother, and hero Cullan around the golf course. She is now ranked in the top 50 in the nation.

But her highway to the top of the hill has also been paved with sorrow. Cullan died in 2020 from osteosarcoma. She was fifteen (15) at the time. Her big brother was gone. Cathryn was barely a teenager and barely playing golf, but now she is following in the big shoes of her big brother, who was also an all-SEC freshman.

So, you ask- what do George Matheson and Cathryn Brown have in common?

Well, today’s Matheson story was all about “walking in the midst of the fire” (Daniel 3:25). George told the story of the three boys in the fires of Babylon. Listen to what George Matheson said about this story of walking through fire, accompanied, of course, by the famous 4th man in the fire, Jesus Himself:

“The fire did not arrest their motion; they walked in the midst of it. It was one of the streets through which they moved to their destiny. The comfort of Christ's revelation is not that it teaches emancipation from sorrow, but emancipation through sorrow.

O my God, teach me, when the shadows have gathered, that I am only in a tunnel. It is enough for me to know that it will be all right someday.

They tell me that I shall stand upon the peaks of Olivet, the heights of resurrection glory. But I want more, O my Father; I want Calvary to lead up to it. I want to know that the shadows of this world are the shades of an avenue, the avenue to the house of my Father. Tell me I am only forced to climb because Thy house is on the hill! I shall receive no hurt from sorrow if I shall walk in the midst of the fire.”
--George Matheson

So I thought about dear Cathryn, along with her sweet parents. The darkness of their loss must still be quite real on many days. But ol’ George Matheson says that “… the shadows of this world are the shades of an avenue, the avenue to the house of my Father.”

Wow! No matter the “fire”, you should just keep walking. We are emancipated (set free) through sorrow. The shadows of this world are the shades of an avenue to the house of God. Cathryn is on her way. In a recent Instagram post (@cathryn_brown2), she said this: “3rd SEC Championship in the books! Only the Lord could have brought me this far! Feeling extra grateful to put on the Blue and White. Psalm 23 really spoke to me recently, and it is truly amazing when you fully understand the Lord as your Shepherd!”

Cathryn Brown with one of her many trophies

I just want to shout, “Way to go, girl. Keep walking in the midst of the fire.”

****

As a reminder, here is what I wrote about Cullan just three days after his death in 2020. The title was simple—“This world just isn’t Fair.”

“Everything He does is just and fair. He is a faithful God who does no wrong; how just and upright he is!” (Deut. 32:4, NLT)

August 4, 2020, seemed like the perfect Tuesday. It was day four (4) of our two-week Covid-19 quarantine in the beautiful village of Brora in Scotland.

That means no golf or contact with people. But the dreaded Q word cannot stop a morning walk on the beach or a stroll with a walking stick (five iron) on the deserted evening links. The sound of the waves crashing. The sound of the birds nesting. Paradise in August.

Brora Golf Club is unique partly because the cattle and sheep farmers (known as ‘crofters’ in Scotland) have the legal right to graze over one hundred sheep and dozens of cows on the golf course. The rough is never mowed thanks to these barnyard friends. This year, they have even added the wonderful “Highland Cows” to the mix. Naturally, these animals are a greenskeeper’s worst nightmare, leaving unwanted overnight gifts. Indeed, the scorecard at Brora has a local rule. “The player is entitled to a free drop from fresh excrement.” This, of course, begs the question, what is ‘fresh’?

Regardless, as we went to bed on Tuesday, August 4, we thanked the Lord for such a perfectly fine day. We awoke at 6 am the next morning to an unusually glorious view. The flags were limp. The North Sea was calm. The birds were chirping. The sun was shining brightly. Another day in Paradise. Like my childhood friends, I could almost hear the cows mooing, “Can Timmy come out and play?” I made a cup of coffee and planned to enjoy the morning with a good book in one of heaven’s best gateways.

But first, I checked my WhatsApp and emails. A message from Jeff Hopper in California, “Sorry to hear that Cullan passed.” In the snap of a finger, Paradise was gone.

I knew this was possible, but I was not ready to hear the news. Cullan Brown, age 20, had died. Osteosarcoma, a rare bone cancer diagnosed just 12 months ago, had taken the life of my young friend. He was a star on the Kentucky golf team. All SEC Freshman last year. Made the cut last summer in a PGA Tour event. Superstar future. Shot a 29 on the back nine the first time I ever watched him play. Not to mention a gourmet chef, expert outdoorsman, and 4.0 student.

And now he was gone.

The first news article I could find quoted another great young Kentucky player, trying to play PGA golf, Chip McDaniel. He had tweeted, “This world just isn’t fair”. Amen Chip.

Hundreds, even thousands of people, had prayed for Cullan. We had friends in Alabama who were seriously praying for him. Jack Nicklaus and Bernhard Langer sent messages of encouragement and healing to Cullan.

But despite the fact that so many people cared, he died. And Chip seems right, “This world just isn’t fair.” Especially when the one who is gone loved Jesus and seemed poised for at least fifty years of faithful service to the King of Kings.

This sent me to the dictionary and the Bible, looking for the word “Fair”. The dictionary was not much help. “Free from bias, dishonesty, or injustice (Ex: ‘a fair decision’ or ‘a fair judge’)”.

But then I noticed an astounding fact. As we understand the word ‘fair’, it barely even existed until recent times. In the King James Version of the Bible (1662), it only meant the lovely color of your skin or the beauty of a young lady. Or maybe the weather.

The NASB (1902) and the RSV (1952) barely mention “fair” at all, as we understand it.

Only more modern Bible versions are more likely to use ‘fair’, like “Everything He does is just and fair.” (Dt. 32:4 NLT). Or, “If God were not entirely fair, how would he be qualified to judge the world? (Romans 3:6 NLT). Or, “God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he makes sinners right in his sight when they believe in Jesus.” (Romans 3:26 NLT).

The word used in older translations for God is that He is Just. And He is Righteous. That is quite different from “fair”.

The world is indeed not fair. But we must remember that God is Just and Righteous. Or as I like to say, He is Awesome! Our minds cannot know His ways. He is God, and we are not.

God Himself, the great Judge, knew His purpose for Cullan Brown. Turns out it was not the PGA Tour. It was to be a brief and blazing light, pointing people to the life, death and resurrection of Jesus. I learned this soon after he arrived on campus.

Just a few weeks into his first semester of college, Cullan had called me. “Judge, I need to interview someone for a leadership class. Could we meet for an hour?” I said sure, expecting a stumbling, mumbling college freshman who could really golf his ball but not much else. Boy, was I wrong. He put me through the wringer, asking better questions than I had answers. I was ready to nominate him for Governor right on the spot. He told me he had chosen to interview me because we were both Jesus followers. He wanted to be sure that I knew where he stood with the Lord. It was a memorable hour with an 18-year-old golfer with the mind of an 80-year-old guru. I later told Coach Brian Craig something like, “God has plans for Cullan that are way bigger than the game of golf.”

And sure enough, Cullan is now a small seed planted in the hearts of thousands of people. This God who is Just and Righteous had a plan for Cullan after all. Jesus told a story that makes me think about Cullan.

“The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in his field; it is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.” (Matthew 13:31 NRSV).

He was from Eddyville, Kentucky, population almost nothing, in Western Kentucky. He was the only state champion in high school in any sport ever from Lyon County. And now, this smallest of seeds, planted in the fields of Kentucky, will become a huge tree for thousands. It will start with his loving parents and little sister. It will include his teammates, who will never forget Cullan’s story. After our one-hour interview, he wrote a paper on what he supposedly learned from me. At the end, he said,

“Judge has a very clear view of what he wants to leave behind, which is the love and story of Jesus Christ, and has a very clear plan of action as to how he wants to get there.”

His paper got it right, but now Cullan has beaten me to it. He has left behind “the love and story of Jesus Christ” in our hearts, and we will never forget. His mustard seed will become a giant tree. God’s plan was different from the one he envisioned.

Many people thought that Cullan Brown would have a Hall of Fame career. He had me convinced when he shot ten under par in a PGA event just three weeks before his diagnosis.

But instead, it turns out he has joined the Hall of Faith, found in the 11th chapter of Hebrews. Abel was a ‘righteous man’. Enoch ‘pleased God’. Noah built the ark to ‘save his family’. Abraham walked ‘by faith’ into the unknown, followed by all his descendants like Isaac, Jacob, Joseph and more. Moses was chosen to lead God’s people.

And now, Cullan has joined this same Hall of Faith.

He no longer needs to go to college or interview mortals like me to learn about leadership. He can interview the entire Hall of Faith, or maybe they should interview him! Not to mention Jesus Himself.

Cullan is not concerned that this world just isn’t fair. That’s because he knows that God is Awesome and that he was fortunate to have a family that showed him the way.

I imagine a scene. On August 4, 2020, Jesus embraced Cullan and said, “I love you so much.” Cullan would have nodded approval and smiled as Jesus continued, “Your journey on earth was short, but my purpose was for you to lay down your life to save others. I know you’re okay with that.” Cullan smiled again and nodded, “Of course, of course.”

I can actually hear Cullan then speaking these words in his unique Kentucky twang, “Jesus, thank you so much. Now, though, please just make sure everybody who knows my story knows that You love them and You have a wonderful plan for them. They just need to keep their eyes focused on you.” Now Jesus smiled. “Of course. They won’t forget you, Cullan, and together, we will let them know the love and story of God’s Love through Jesus Christ.”

Perhaps this conversation even happened while walking down the fairway on a course so great that we could not even imagine. Jesus is too smart to play golf, so he would be Cullan’s caddie. Jesus loves to caddie for his children.

So we weep. But our tears are more for ourselves, who cannot understand. And for Cullan’s family, who loved him so dearly. His mother. His father. His younger sister. His extended family that showed up for every tournament. To hear them talk, Cullan ‘just isn’t making any putts today’, even though he might be two or three under par. Oh, how they loved to follow Cullan on the golf course. And eat his cooking. And hear his stories.

So, we close with Dt 32:4 in the RVS. “The Rock, his work is perfect; for all his ways are justice. A God of faithfulness and without iniquity, just and right he is.” (Deut. 32:4, RSV).

The world is not fair. But God is Just and Right and Awesome.

RIP Cullan.

Tim Philpot (August 7, 2020)