In 2016, back in the old days when I was a Family Court judge, I published a controversial book on Marriage and Divorce. “Judge Z: Irretrievably Broken” can still be found on Amazon or www.judgezbook.com. I didn’t think it would be controversial, but it was.

The essence of my message was that Marriage is sacred, and Divorce is too easy. It was the result of over ten years of watching marriage become meaningless for most of the people that I saw every day. About 85% of the people in Family Court were not married, and the others were getting divorced, so I began to wonder- “What is marriage anyway?” I was an expert on the subject but was getting confused myself. I started reading alot of books. Not even the Bible gave me a clear definition of marriage, but I did start to believe that the entire Bible is one big marriage story- God’s marriage to the Bride of Christ— you and me. Read the book if you want to know more.

In my research for Judge Z, I read two books by an esteemed marriage and divorce researcher from the University of Minnesota. Dr. Bill Doherty had become rather famous in his circle of academia. I called him and was surprised when he called me back. We became friends when I expressed interest in his research.

Dr. Doherty’s research clearly proved that there was more hope in restoring some marriages than anyone understood. Just because the papers are filed does not mean that the marriage is “irretrievably broken”— the magic words to get a divorce in Kentucky.

I invited him to Kentucky to speak to lawyers and more. As we worked together on a research project about divorce in Kentucky, he discovered that my faith in Jesus was a motivator for me. He showed great respect for that faith and we had very friendly conversations about his own God journey.

He grew up in a Catholic home and actually spent seven years in a seminary, preparing to be a priest. But he told me with a huge smile that he had “flunked celibacy”, and thus, Bill left the seminary with a Master’s Degree in Theology but not much true faith. He soon thereafter left his Catholic roots completely and turned to Unitarian Universalism when he “couldn’t make sense anymore out of the traditional dogmas of the faith”. He drifted away toward the Unitarians because it was not doctrinal, saying you “are free to make up your own theology”.

But then, after thirty years, he now says that making up his own religion got old. At about age 70, he began to read theology again, as he said, “waltzing around Jesus”. His daughter invited him to a Minneapolis church which engaged his heart and mind. He liked going to church for the first time in decades.

Bill began to realize that he had missed the essence of true religion, which is to be a “follower”. The first words of Jesus were “Follow Me”, said Bill. “Not believe me, or behave like me. But follow me. Enter a relationship with me. I felt I needed to follow Jesus, not just study Him.”

And then, he heard a mind-blowing concept that was the last piece of the puzzle for him. He heard his pastor say that he needed to “follow Jesus to God and not God to Jesus. I could let go of trying to figure out who God is- the creator of the universe- and follow Jesus, and let Jesus take me to God. I could worship the God of Jesus, not the metaphysical God.”

WOW! Start with Jesus. I am reminded of a 2005 book written by one of my mentors, Dennis Kinlaw, entitled “Let’s Start with Jesus: A New Way of Doing Theology”. Most theologians start with the big picture God and discuss Jesus along the way. But he found, like Dr. Doherty, that Jesus is the place to start.

Bill then said that as he was coming to faith, he found himself in tears stating to this same pastor, “I miss Jesus”. Wow!!! He had walked with Jesus into a Catholic seminary as a teenager, thinking surely he would know God at the end. But there were too many questions about dogma and the typical issues which cause stumbling. And so, rather sadly, Bill walked away from this Jesus.

But oh, happy day when the prodigal professor returned to the Father through Jesus the Son.

To hear Bill’s story of following Jesus, click on video below. His story starts at Minute 26:30. Don’t miss it.